Epiphany

Sunday was Twelve Night but I'm afraid I haven't had any epiphanies yet, especially regarding my coursework, argh. I went back to school yesterday and O went back to nursery, me with heavy heart, her with excitement at seeing her friends and her beloved Suna, Sarah and Angela the Art Teacher. Whenever we have had a chunk of time together as a family I always get a pang of the tiniest bit of loss when we all go back to our daily lives. It's hard.

And I found school particularly heavy going yesterday. Mr State-the-Obvious had 3 weeks worths of thoughts to relieve himself of and I had a really traumatic role-play exercise with a fellow classmate who has gone through an awful lot in her life. I do sometimes wonder if she realises that we are here to learn about becoming therapists not actually take part in therapy sessions. She digs deep at every opportunity and a ten minute exercise may uncover feelings but doesn't allow for you to do much about them. She was clearly upset, and I think she really would benefit from some work, I hope the tutor suggests someone to help her. The group dynamic is changing all the time. It's much smaller as people have dropped out, people have relaxed a bit and some strong personalities are coming to the fore. I noticed for the first time yesterday that I'm not the only person who gets frustrated Mr S-t-O, which was interesting! Some people have some very different opinions about things. And there are some classmates who I enjoy working with, and some who I avoid whenever I can. I have never, ever done any group work with Mr S-t-O and I'm sure the tutor is going to pull me up on this. I'm still not sure whether therapy is for me. Have been having lots of lovely daydreams about opening a coffee shop lately instead!

Feel so tired today, instead of rushing around doing all my weekly chores while O is at nursery I've been napping and lazing about home. Will now have a mad panic to clear up the kitchen, tidy up and get things shipshape before I have to pick her up, oh dear.

Our weekend was good. Watched a brilliant DVD called Tell No One. Pacey, gripping and full of tension and suspense. I was so surprised to see Kristin Scott Thomas speaking fluent French! I always think of her as the quintessential English lady. I'm sure this movie will get a Hollywood remake but I don't think it will be as good.

O is really funny at the moment. She's obsessed with emotions and feelings. All day she says "Are you happy/upset/sad/bored/excited/cross?"etc etc and she gives regular updates on how she and her toys are feeling "George the monkey is very hungry Mummy" "Dougie is very naughty, he be time out!" This particular one is hilarious as she shakes her finger at him, scoops him up and then flounces off to the corner. Her molars are mostly all through now so she is in such a good mood and her appetite is really good (for her). She's eating everything and has a big passion for risotto or Daddy's rice as she calls it. It was so lovely for her to have M around over the holidays. It's really strengthened their bond again. She even wanted to hold his hand as he walked alongside while I pushed her in the buggy. She also seems to be creating an imaginary friend called 'DeeDee'. She pretends to talk to DeeDee on the phone, tells us what DeeDee is doing and is always putting her babydoll in the baby buggy to go for a walk with DeeDee. Last night she packed her Charlie and Lola backpack with a book, teddy and fruitbar walked to the front door and said that DeeDee wanted her to come to her house. Not sure whether to recognise or ignore DeeDee!

We went to a Twelve Night Celebration at the Geffrye Museum. There was a brass band, carol singing, mulled wine and epiphany cake and a ritual burning of the holly and the ivy. (There were some very funny signs on the gate on the way in 'The Geffrey Museum regrets that for health and safety reasons it cannot burn patrons own Christmas trees, holly or ivy')It was great to see how well attended it was, and even lovelier to bump into lots of friends and neighbours there. Since having O we really feel part of the community in a way we never did before. Had dinner with friends and it was a lovely way to stave off the Sunday night blues.